


Heat-Seeking Missile

by NanakiBH



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Anal Fingering, Angst, Body Shots, Body Worship, Cock Piercing, Coercion, Drinking, Exhibitionism, Groping, Immobility, Incest, Licking, M/M, Manipulation, Mind Games, Nipple Piercings, Nipple Play, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Kissing, Overstimulation, Piercings, Rape/Non-con Elements, Temperature Play, Unresolved Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-17 23:33:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15472557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH
Summary: A missile fired is destined for explosion.





	Heat-Seeking Missile

**Author's Note:**

> This was sitting in my wips for so long. Please just take it...
> 
> As always, please be mindful of the tags. Prioritize your comfort. Don't read if you aren't prepared.

Crammed between passengers on the hot train, Akechi clutched his briefcase in one hand and tightly clung to the handrail with the other, trying to keep himself upright as his body threatened to collapse. There were a few creeps around him who kept eyeing him as he swayed unsteadily. He was letting himself look too vulnerable. He occasionally met eyes with them to keep them frozen where they were.

It seemed ironic that he'd fend off molesters on his way to Shido's place...

He was feeling just delirious enough to laugh out loud.

Shido was different. As disgusting as it was, he needed to indulge his perversions. Disobeying him was out of the question. A few minor transgressions were acceptable – sometimes even given praise if Shido found them amusing – but Akechi knew which lines he wasn't allowed to cross. If Shido invited him somewhere, he couldn't say no. If he wanted to touch him...

 

“Nngh...”

 

It was too much.

Seeking a little relief, he put his briefcase under his arm and unbuttoned a few of the buttons on his shirt. He caught the leers of the perverts who had been watching him, licking their lips like hyenas. Turning away, he faced the windows for a moment as he tugged at the collar of his shirt, trying to remove some of the heat trapped inside.

His shirt clung unpleasantly to his skin, damp with sweat. If those perverts saw what he saw, they would've lost their minds, he bet.

Wearing a vest in that heat wouldn't have been his choice. He would've loved to only wear a cool, short-sleeved shirt to school, but he needed the extra layer to hide the conspicuous protrusions on his chest. An undershirt wouldn't have been enough to keep people from noticing.

 

It was all that man's idea.

 

He was called to his office after school one night. When he arrived, he found himself entrapped in an inescapable situation.

When he stepped into Shido's dim office, there was another man there, seated on the sofa. Shido had been wise to withhold his intentions from him. As soon as he entered, Shido introduced him to the man.

 

Shido arranged for someone to pierce him without speaking to him first.

 

Akechi considered refusing, but he knew that there was nothing he could've said that would have released him from the inevitable. Shido would have punished him if he made a scene.

Punishment would've probably been preferable.

The idea of punishment was always more intimidating than the physical consequences he faced. Unless he was intoxicated, Shido never raised a hand to him. His disappointment and disapproval stayed in Akechi's mind for longer than any bruise ever stayed on his skin. Shido didn't need to use his impressive physical strength to force him into doing as he wanted. That was beneath him.

Shido's power of persuasion was impressive. Akechi hated how much he admired it. He was apprentice to a professional.

 

He didn't receive an explanation for Shido's unexpected 'generosity', however, even as he sat on the sofa and was told to remove his shirt. It would've been too simple to assume it was for the sake of satisfying a fetish. Shido was frequently self-indulgent, but it wasn't that; he watched with indifference.

The doctor worked silently. Akechi stayed so invested in his concentrated expression, he barely noticed the sting of the needle as it pierced his skin.

At the point that the two bars were secured, he thought it had to be over. He even breathed a sigh of relief. As embarrassing as it was, he thought he could live with a pair of piercings that were easy to hide. Aside from some mild discomfort, it wasn't something that was going to affect his daily life.

 

When he stood, Shido stopped him and told him to remove his pants.

 

It was always in his best interest to expect the worst. Expecting leniency from Shido was a failure on his own part.

Shido stared at him with eyes that said nothing. Even though Akechi knew it was probably pointless, a part of him hoped that if he let a second or two pass, Shido's serious face would've vanished and he would have laughed and told him that he was just playing with him, but...

He didn't laugh.

Even as Akechi removed his pants and sat back down on the sofa, a part of him remained in disbelief. Accepting reality would have done him no good at that point. Anger scratched at the corner of his heart. He didn't want to face it.

For a while, as the doctor selected the instruments to work with, Akechi imagined kicking him in the jaw before he even got the chance to touch him. He imagined jumping Shido, pressing his thumbs into his eye sockets, listening to him howl in agony... It was just a thought, but the thought helped him endure it.

It was confusing. That was the part of it he really hated.

His thoughts raced and spun into a dark, shadowy blur as he tipped his head back, feeling the unpleasant touch of the doctor's gloved fingers. As he felt something penetrating the head of his cock, he closed his eyes so he didn't have to look at Shido's face and tried to keep his own face expressionless.

Did he enjoy it?

Akechi hoped he enjoyed it. Otherwise, he had no idea what he was doing there.

Despite himself, he couldn't prevent a couple tears from escaping the corners of his eyes as something thick and sharp pierced through.

After it was finished and the area was cleaned, the doctor removed his gloves, packed up his things, and stood. He gave a nod to Shido and left without having spoken a single word.

Shido sat down at his desk then and dismissed him.

Akechi was glad that Shido didn't try to touch him afterwards. He only instructed that he not remove the piercings and let them heal. Akechi redressed carefully, feeling too shaken to question what happened. He left, even though he had the feeling that leaving meant losing his opportunity to ask.

For the first month, the soreness was almost unbearable. He had to take a few aspirin before school just so his mind could focus on anything but the throbbing soreness on his chest and between his legs.

To his astonishment, his unpleasant additions became like a blessing in disguise.

Shido was serious about letting them heal.

On occasion, when he was in his presence, Shido would grab him by the collar to have a look down his shirt. A smirk would twist the edges of his mouth at the sight of his pierced nipples, and then he'd release him. And that'd be that. Their meetings would proceed as usual without any further sexual advances. Akechi wondered what Shido planned on doing with him once they healed, but he enjoyed the way that it kept him at bay for the time. He liked seeing the hunger in his eyes and he liked knowing that there was nothing he could do about it.

By the second month, by the time the pain was fading and the healing was nearly complete, he felt agitated and restless, noticing the silence that the pain had distracted him from. When no one was around, he rubbed the heel of his palm against his chest, gritting his teeth.

He started to miss it.

That faint, incessant pain was the sort of peculiarity his cruel and empty life needed.

He accepted anything that would bring him momentary relief from the omnipresent despair. That relief may have been red and irritating, but it was better than nothing. It was better than letting his mind wander the silence, tethered to nothing. It kept his feet on the ground and kept him focused on what was important.

Shido.

For the ways he toyed with him, he had to think of a creative way to make him suffer.

Perhaps he'd return the favor with his own generosity...

He rather liked the idea of tying him down, making him helpless. He wanted to humiliate him. With all the time they spent together, through each of their interactions, every word, Shido had revealed his fears and weaknesses. Akechi felt delighted to possess such information. He had more than enough to use when the time was right.

Just thinking about that moment was enough to make his heart skip a beat. He couldn't wait to reveal to Shido the monster he'd given birth to. All he saw was his smile. Shido thought he could get away with provoking him. He had no idea...

Akechi's pulse quickened. His head spun dizzily.

In that kind of heat, with thoughts like those, he was sure that he knew Hell.

When he took a breath, righted himself, and raised his eyes to the window in front of him, he saw his own reflection staring back at him. For a moment, slightly delirious from the temperature, he almost didn't recognize himself. The person who looked at him made him want to spit.

What were those pitiful eyes?

They widened when he noticed. Became wild.

There was still fear in their ferocity. He wanted to erase the existence of that emotion from himself. It had no place there. He was a beast, just like his father, and he was going to use his righteousness to devour him. He wasn't afraid. He wanted his red to gleam with the same mercilessness he saw in Shido's amber. When he looked at his reflection, he wanted to see him and be reminded of the hate that kept him fed.

He had to crush the grin that crossed his face. He didn't want to let such a perverse expression be seen in public.

 

He had to wonder...

 

Did Shido see something of himself in him, too?

Did he have any idea? Was he aware of the sins he committed every time he ran his hands over his body? Was there anything of his black heart left uncorrupted?

 

Akechi abandoned hope of saving his own heart. It was already stained with an insatiable desire to see Shido's blood. Peering at his own reflection wasn't enough to satisfy it. There was hardly any similarity between them, physically.

He shared his blood, and yet they were so different on the outside.

Compared to Shido, he was small... Fragile-looking...

The metal rings that adorned his chest drew attention to the paleness of his skin and the thinness of his chest. They would've suited a woman, he thought. Was that what Shido saw when he looked at him, he wondered? His resemblance to his mother seemed to grow by the day. It was difficult to keep the thought of her off his mind even when the glint of the metal tempted him to wrap his fingers around himself. For one blistering moment at a time, suffocating between the narrow walls of his cramped apartment, he was her, choking on morbid ecstasy.

 

When the train reached the station, he shuffled toward the door, keeping an eye over his shoulder. He felt a hand from somewhere grope his thigh, but it disappeared before he could catch it.

He wasn't sure anymore whether he would've tried to stop it. But he told himself he would've. Just, he didn't have the energy to care past the moment. Once that stranger's hand disappeared into the crowd, it was gone from his mind, too.

 

On the way to Shido's apartment, he passed by a lot of people. Most walked right past him, but some stopped abruptly to turn and look at him. They must've recognized his face. A secretive smile formed on his lips as he thought about the things they weren't aware of. So many things. Right there, beneath his clothes. Deeper, somewhere inside.

Secrets were thrilling.

That was how he wanted to feel. At the edge of his mind, despair lurked and waited like the shadows that clung to the tight spaces between the buildings. It was impossible to take the good without the bad, but he scraped the corners for any scrap he could get his hands on. The sun just shined too brightly. He couldn't stand still in the daylight without noticing the shadows, so he hurried his pace.

He wanted to rush away to where it was dark, to be submerged in the darkness that made the disfigured shadows lose their shape, where everything looked the same.

 

The sidewalk between the station and apartment vanished while he wandered in circles inside his head. Before he knew it, he was at Shido's door.

He politely knocked twice.

Took a moment. He was adjusting his collar when Shido answered.

 

“Come in.”

 

Akechi walked past him and moved into the living room that was a step away from the entrance to set down his briefcase. Shido owned a gorgeous luxury apartment. He talked about wanting something bigger, but it was easily four times the size of Akechi's tiny apartment. It just wasn't enough for his extravagant tastes. He wanted a mansion that overlooked the ocean, built to his ostentatious specifications. His taste was so tasteless... But Akechi couldn't deny that he preferred Shido's spacious, air conditioned apartment to his own.

When he made to remove his vest, he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

“What do you think you're doing?”

Akechi put his hands down. “Ah, pardon me. I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I? I didn't even greet you.” He tried to keep his face neutral. “Good afternoon, sir. Hot day, isn't it?”

For a moment, Shido stared at him, expressionless. Akechi really couldn't understand what that look was supposed to mean. The coldness of his stare made him worried that Shido may have learned something, but that was impossible. Akechi didn't think he'd done anything to warrant his suspicion...

“Indeed it is,” Shido said. When he spoke, it felt as though time abruptly began to move again. “Would you like a drink?”

“Sir, you know I'm too young to drink,” he teased.

“Too young for water?” Shido asked. The condescending grin on his face made Akechi burn.

He didn't need to give an answer. Shido was already walking toward the kitchen, taking two glasses from the cupboard above the sink. Akechi approached, carefully watching his movements as he ran the faucet. He knew what sort of thing Shido had in mind. That man was never so considerate.

Akechi stood near the island in the center of the kitchen. A glass of ice water was set in front of him along with an unlabeled medicine bottle filled with something.

He laughed.

Shido wasn't even trying to hide it.

“Go ahead. Take one. You'll feel better,” Shido said. “I'll get myself something, too.”

Well, it wasn't like he hadn't known what they were going to do. It wasn't like he hadn't anticipated the possibility of being drugged. Those possibilities always existed. And there were worse things.

While Shido took one of his bottles of liquor from the rack and poured himself a drink, Akechi turned the bottle around in his hand and contemplated its contents. The pills inside of it were also unmarked. He knew that he couldn't refuse, so he didn't know what he was even deliberating.

 

Again.

He was trapped again, faced with false options.

 

Shido was watching, looking down at him with his glass raised to his lips.

Akechi met his eyes and lifted his own glass to take a few sips of water. The heat had worn him down more than he'd even realized. The sudden chilliness of the air conditioning made his head hurt.

He placed one of the pills on his tongue and swallowed it with his next sip of water.

“So. What are these?” he asked.

“Like I said – something that will make you relax. You're always just pretending, even around me. It's insulting, you know. I can tell when you're uncomfortable.”

Something seemed different already, but Akechi couldn't be sure. His heart began to beat rapidly, but it might've only been due to nervousness. It became more noticeable as he tried to move. His sense of equilibrium had been tampered with. Although he was sure that he'd barely moved an inch, his body suddenly felt like it was swaying. Maybe it was?

Numb.

His fingertips felt numb.

He touched the table to be sure and ended up gripping onto the edge to keep his balance.

“Here. Come with me,” Shido said.

As he began to walk away, Akechi followed after him with his slow eyes. A moment later, he remembered how to work his feet, but their movements were automatic. He was on rails. His feet only had the ability to pull him in one direction, carrying him one step at a time toward Shido's bedroom.

 

Directions weren't needed. When he was in Shido's dim, cool bedroom, he sat on the edge of the bed. Faced with another unsettling wave of dizziness, he laid down, resting his head on the pillow.

Holding his drink, Shido sat down at the end of the bed and looked at him.

What was he doing?

Waiting?

Probably.

The drug was still evolving in his system. Akechi laid his hands over his stomach and moved his eyes to the ceiling. Blank, just like his head. It was the strangest feeling; his mind felt as though it were filled with everything and nothing at the same time. Whenever he tried to grasp a thought, it slipped away and disappeared, leaving him feeling blissfully dumb.

“Shido-... san...”

Weird.

All of a sudden, it was even difficult to speak. His jaw felt heavy.

His numb fingers... He couldn't move them anymore, either.

 

Should've known it'd be like that.

 

What was Shido doing? Why was he still waiting? The drug had clearly already taken effect. Of all the things about him that Akechi couldn't stand, his unpredictable silence was the worst. His mind worked hard to figure out what Shido was thinking about as he sat there, silently watching him, but it worked hard for nothing. The gears in his mind spun and only left him feeling dizzy.

Under some other circumstance, maybe...

Like what, though? And why was such a thought even able to still make it through?

When all other thoughts were evacuated from his head, that seemed to be the only sort of thing that remained. Shido's attention wasn't wholly unpleasant. For the moment, seeming unable to think as he wanted, Akechi's mind entertained depressingly deferential thoughts. He didn't even owe him the benefit of a single kind thought, and yet he suddenly felt overwhelmed by a whole crowd of such unnecessary leniencies.

An absence of cruelty.

That was how he wanted to read his silence. But that wasn't it. It couldn't be.

It wouldn't be – not unless he did something to make it change.

But he was on rails.

 

“Hm? What's wrong with you?”

 

Akechi couldn't move his limbs by himself, nor could he ask what he was talking about, but, when he blinked, he felt the dampness of tears on his eyelashes. He didn't know why tears were there. He wasn't crying. He wasn't hurt. He didn't think he felt sad.

Shido stood up. He took another drink from his glass, placed it at the table next to the bed, then stood at the side of the bed, looking over him.

“I can understand if you aren't used to it.”

Vague. But, by the sound of it, Akechi got the sense that Shido had already verified the effects of the drug on another occasion. He didn't even want to think about it. And it was fine, because his drugged brain didn't let him get attached to the thought. It let it go so easily. Then it was gone. He forgot what he'd even been thinking about.

A hand on his head, brushing away the hair that had gotten stuck to his forehead in the heat.

Come to think of it, he probably looked like a mess...

The eyes that looked at him didn't seem to care. Nor did his fingers as they touched his sweaty skin. Unable to discern what he had on his mind, it almost seemed as though he was simply examining him, as if he found him curious. That wouldn't have been surprising. Akechi always felt like Shido saw him as something of an oddity.

“Lately, I've been thinking about what I'll do with you,” Shido said, sitting down next to him on the edge of the bed. “I imagine you've been thinking similarly. I've gotten the feeling that there's something else you want. But I don't think you'll tell me. That's how you are.”

He was right.

The truth of his intentions had to remain a mystery until his plan reached its climax.

“No matter,” he added, bringing a hand to Akechi's face. He lightly wiped the tears away from one of his eyes with his thumb. He brought it to his lips to give it a taste and paused. “I enjoy your complexity, you know. I don't think I want you to change, but it also frustrates me... I hate having the sense that there's something I don't know. By nature, I want to sink my claws in.”

There was another pause full of thought. It wasn't as silent as before. Akechi felt like he was getting closer to understanding what he was thinking, but his brain was in no condition to keep up. He only prayed that he'd remember everything once he regained control of himself.

Shido took another drink and stared at the ice in his glass for a moment before returning his eyes to Akechi.

He lifted one of Akechi's wrists. It was a little distressing how easily he was able to move it. Akechi focused on the limb and thought as hard as he could, commanding it to move, but it wouldn't. Both of his hands were repositioned, placed at his sides. Shido touched his chest and drew a line down to his belt.

“If I can't pry you open, I may have to do something drastic. You've been so useful, I wouldn't like that. It'd be a shame.”

 

Shido was asking for his honesty.

 

Absolutely not.

 

“You're so pliant... Give me everything. There's something you're still keeping to yourself... Give it to me.”

 

When Akechi felt Shido's lips touch his, he wondered if there was anything left. He felt empty.

It didn't make sense.

He was wanted?

No. He was sure of it – Shido only wanted to control him. An oddity was all he was. If he lost his air of mystery, he wouldn't have been interesting anymore. He'd get tossed out.

That'd been his mother.

And he wasn't going to end up like her.

 

“I'd like you to think about it,” Shido said, looking down at him with a hand placed on the pillow next to Akechi's head. “You know what I'm asking for, don't you? I'd really prefer for you to give it to me yourself.”

Shido got up.

Crossing the room, he lowered the shutters on his windows. Even though they were likely too high up to be seen by anyone, his paranoia demanded that they have perfect privacy. The room became more dim, but the shadows remained warm with the sun beating the other side of the shades.

“Have you cooled down?” he asked. Returning to his side, he touched the back of a hand against Akechi's cheek to feel the heat of his skin. “You seem even hotter than before. My apologies. Are you anxious for me to get started?”

Akechi's pulse quickened as Shido's hands neared his chest.

In the absence of his touch, he began to anticipate it more and more. Shido's touch stayed in his memory, there even when he touched himself. Unavoidable, he stopped trying to refuse it and allowed the thought to seep into his fantasies.

Feeling his hands after so long... 

It had to be the effects of the drug that made him feel so...

 

Pliant.

 

That really was the word.

 

Feeling Shido's palm sliding from his stomach to his chest, Akechi's eyes closed on their own. If he let them remain closed, he had the feeling that he would have quickly fallen asleep. A higher dosage would have undoubtedly knocked him out. Shido wouldn't have liked that. He was the type of man who took whatever he wanted, but he liked encountering a bit of satisfying resistance.

Shido's hands were warm, but their heat wasn't even a match for the sun, and that was a shame, Akechi thought. From the station to Shido's apartment, he'd suffered more under its rays.

He was getting turned around.

He wanted Shido to bring him back to his anger with his cruelty.

 

Another kiss.

Why?

 

A shiver involuntarily ran down his spine as Shido's thumbs found the shape of the rings through the front of his vest. They didn't hurt anymore – not even in the slightest. There was just a pleasurable feeling that spread outward to each of his numb limbs. His sense of time was backwards, so he couldn't tell how long Shido teased him, but it seemed endless. All of his senses felt like they were connected and focused on the place where Shido touched him. Back and forth, his thumbs teased him through his clothes.

Again, his eyes became damp. Again, Shido pressed their mouths together.

Each time Shido lightly touched his lips, Akechi felt himself slipping. His pulse settled and his breathing evened out.

A father wouldn't kiss his son that way.

When he parted from him, Akechi tried to look into his eyes and fought to understand his intent. What he saw there was not tenderness. It was a lie. The emotion there was a fabrication of tenderness patched together; a gross imitation made by someone whose heart lacked the delicateness to create the real thing. However, its intent remained a mystery.

If he was trying to make him more vulnerable, then he was succeeding. Numerous cracks appeared.

Akechi wished he could tell him to stop. He could have his body. He could use him horribly. But he had to stop pretending.

Next, his vest was removed. Shido lifted it from the bottom and repositioned Akechi's arms so he could lift it over his head. It seemed like it would've been easier to leave it on, but he was going all the way. The shirt underneath still clung to the sweat on his chest, and the air conditioning made his skin feel clammy.

Shido examined the sight of him, admiring the rings on his chest, faintly visible through his shirt. Wordlessly, he began unbuttoning it, beginning at the collar. Considering the voracity Akechi was used to being devoured with, the carefulness with which Shido removed his clothes came as a surprise.

Once he had his shirt open, a slid a hand underneath him and held his back, lifting him up to slide it off.

“As expected. You take good care of yourself. These look wonderful,” he praised, gazing with approval at his pierced nipples. He lightly pinched one of them, playing with the ring between his fingers, feeling the bar that secured it under the skin. “What do you think of them? I hope you like them. Have you played with them while you masturbate?”

Akechi wasn't able to answer. He wasn't even able to feel as offended by that question as he should've. Instead, he was disgustingly turned on by his father's perverse imagination.

A part of him had already submitted to becoming abnormal.

If he ever hoped to feel normal, he had to end him.

 

Akechi's mind returned to the memory of Shido's office, of staring at the ceiling and biting the centers of his palms with his nails as metal stabbed his skin. The questions on his mind that day seemed to be answered as he gazed at the ceiling of Shido's bedroom.

Shido was just proving that he could do whatever he wanted, even the absurd. Everyone else was just a resident who paid a tax to live in his world.

 

A moan slipped from Akechi's lips.

 

His cock hardened at Shido's repeated teasing of his nipples. He loved it when he squeezed on them and then tugged on the rings when they were sensitive. In a daze of pleasure, his eyes closed and he breathed heavily, panting and aching. His nipples became slightly sore, but it wasn't enough. He still missed the pain. He didn't want it to feel good...

“Looks like I found something you enjoy,” Shido remarked smugly. As he played with one of Akechi's nipples, he stroked his hair. “Can you tell how hard you are right now? Look.”

He moved his hand between Akechi's legs and grabbed him through his pants, feeling the stiff outline of his cock. It was likely that he wouldn't have pushed him away even if he could move, but Akechi still wished he even had the illusion of the choice.

He didn't like being shown the mechanism behind the trick. He didn't like being fooled, but...

It was a lot, being confronted directly with the bold honesty of his fakery.

All Akechi could do was moan and reveal his own mechanism.

With each stroke of Shido's hand, his moans infuriatingly increased, getting louder, telling Shido one thing. It was encouragement of the most honest variety. His body ached to move. He could feel his limbs trying, sensed the tensing of his muscles, but they remained motionless. All he could do was lay there and pray that Shido would either mercifully satisfy what his body wanted or leave him.

Shido continued to grope him, rubbing his palm along his clothed cock. At the back of his mind, Akechi was glad that he'd dressed accordingly and worn something attractive and soft under his clothes. The smooth fabric felt nice on his skin as it was drawn back and forth over his cock. His breath hitched whenever it was pulled over the head. The pleasure mounted as Shido tugged on one of his nipple rings at the same time. It wasn't long before he realized that he was already dripping precum, feeling the wetness spreading over the tip, dampening the front of his underwear.

Shido's hands left him. Akechi's eyes were too slow to follow his movements anymore, so he patiently waited. Not like he had much of a choice.

As deliberately as before, Shido unfastened his pants and pulled them down along with his underwear. Once everything was off, Akechi closed his eyes and imagined how pathetic he had to look. Lately, he hadn't been eating well. His limbs looked too thin. However, if Shido noticed, he didn't say anything about it. He did stop for a moment to look at him, and he touched him, but his touch was slow and soft.

Akechi heard the tinkling of ice in Shido's glass.

A moment later, he suddenly felt the touch of something cold and wet against his chest. He didn't even have to lift his head to know that Shido had taken one of the pieces of ice from his glass. Its coldness prickled his skin and made his muscles twitch. If he hadn't been so numb, Akechi was sure he would have jumped as soon as it touched him.

He would've bit his lip. He would've tugged at the sheets and tried to appear unaffected. Instead, he laid there as lifeless as a doll, lips parted and eyes glazed. Shido brought a thumb to the corner of his mouth to wipe away the drool that had rolled down the side of his face.

When he came close, Akechi was able to see his face and the expression there.

The intentions of that face weren't uncertain at all. He was clearly enjoying himself. Even though it was subtle, his eyes were alive with delight at the sight of his helplessness.

Shido ran the ice cube around his chest, taking it from the center of his chest up to his collarbones. He smiled to himself as he moved it along his neck. The small cube quickly melted on his hot skin. Once the awful ticklish feeling wore off, Akechi felt a little appreciative of its cold touch and tried to communicate as much by releasing a pleased sigh through his nose.

Shido took another from the glass and touched it lightly to one of his nipples, rubbing it around the tip to get it cold and wet. Even when he lifted it, the metal of the piercing stayed cold and made Akechi shiver slightly despite the numbness in his limbs.

When that ice cube was exhausted, Shido took another. He slid a hand under Akechi's head and slipped the small ice cube between his lips. He held his head up so he wouldn't choke, and he waited for it to melt on Akechi's tongue.

It had an interesting flavor. It reminded him of the taste of Shido's kiss and the scent of his breath.

“Bourbon,” he said. “Do you like it?”

It was good.

It was just the briefest taste, but it was strong enough to linger even as the ice cube melted and turned to water on his tongue. There was something sweet in its mature flavor.

Shido took another one of the small cubes and rolled it along Akechi's trembling sides, over the sharp protrusion of each rib. He pressed it into the dip of his navel, but he didn't go any lower than that, ignoring his hard cock. A few small sounds escaped from him as Shido brought it back up to tease one of his nipples. He tugged the ring on his other nipple and switched hands after a while, letting the remainder of the ice cube melt over the other nipple.

Once they were both numb and aching from the cold, Shido squeezed and rubbed them both between his fingers and listened as Akechi let out a multitude of noises.

It hurt...

It hurt in the way he'd been missing.

He could barely stand it. If he'd been able to move, he was sure he would have already instinctively twisted out of his grasp. His mind was going blank, overloaded with a pleasure so strong, it was painful.

He couldn't breathe. More drool rolled down his cheek as he gagged on his own breath.

Eventually, Shido relented. He removed his fingers from Akechi's nipples and smoothed his hands up and down his sides until his breathing began to calm down.

“This isn't so bad. I think I could get used to this.”

What was that supposed to mean?

He wasn't his experiment. He didn't want to be... It wasn't up to him to help him learn how to be courteous.

 

Was he really trying to be...?

 

Taking the glass from the bedside, Shido raised it and Akechi watched, transfixed and somewhat afraid, as he tipped it and poured a small amount of the bourbon on his chest. The cold, golden liquor spread from the center of his chest and a little bit of it rolled down and soaked the sheets. With his glass still in hand, Shido leaned down and licked a stripe up his chest. He paused to give attention to each of Akechi's nipples, messily slurping on them, rolling his tongue around the piercings.

Akechi's eyes drifted closed as Shido worked him over. While he'd waited for his piercings to heal, that whole time, he imagined what his father planned to do with them. He thought he'd be meaner. He imagined him twisting his nipple rings roughly, tugging on them hard enough to make him fear that he'd tear them out. He imagined going to school with bandaids covering the stinging, still-bleeding wounds. It would've been a humiliating way for his classmates to find out about what he was hiding.

But Shido's treatment was nothing like what he expected. He made his body ache, but he also opened up a new wound elsewhere, somewhere deep inside of him. That place had to be where his tears came from. Even in the midst of ecstasy, they appeared, unbidden, at the corners of his eyes.

Shido brushed them off once again.

“You love it that much?”

There was something in his fabricated care that was attractive.

It wasn't worth loving, but some people couldn't afford the real thing. So it seemed, he wasn't fortunate enough. Settling was okay as long as he didn't think. Because Shido was his father, and his voice was low and warm, and his touch made him feel.

 

After that, he may have blacked out for a moment or two.

Gradually, he came back around. Feeling Shido's fingers around his cock, he thought it might have been better if he remained unconscious. Once he noticed, his dull senses became sharper, but only just sharp enough to focus entirely on the hand touching his cock.

“How is it?” he asked, nudging his thumb against the thick ring that pierced the head. “I'm actually very curious. I've thought about how it might feel if I got one. That would make fucking you an even more exciting experience, but I think it would be a nuisance otherwise. Is it bothersome? Does it rub against your clothing and make you excited while you're trying to work? I'd love to hear all about it later.”

He wanted to tell him.

It caused him so much frustration. It was all because of him.

Dizziness clouded his mind as Shido touched him. He pinched the tip between a few of his fingers and slid them down, pushing back his foreskin, then pushing it up and over the ring. He repeated the motion a few times, making the head feel more and more sensitive. Akechi's thighs twitched, but they still couldn't move. In fact, the numbness seemed to have gotten worse. He had no hope of regaining control.

He directed his tired eyes downward and watched as Shido settled himself between his legs. He half-expected him to suck his cock while he was there, but he blamed that thought on his altered state of mind.

So that was why he cried out when Shido took him into his mouth.

It wasn't much of a cry. More of loud, incoherent noise.

His eyes rolled back and his eyelids fluttered. His temples ached, his brain threatening to shut it all down under the intensity. He wouldn't have noticed it so sharply if the sensation hadn't been dulled in the rest of his body. It was like the drug had turned him into a toy made for sex – for his father's use. While that thought should have disgusted him, it simply fueled his retched desire to be held.

His father's hands were holding his hips.

His father's mouth was pleasuring him.

 

Bliss...

 

Even if he was used, he was wanted, wasn't he? That seemed to be what his father's lips said as they slid over his cock. He was...

He was wanted.

It was only fitting that the overwhelming fulfillment he felt in his heart was accompanied by overwhelming pleasure. Only Shido... Only his father could show him that level of gratification. With the proper patience, he imagined that he could have him eating out of his hand. It didn't matter where Shido's desire originated from; a desire to possess him, to tame him... It didn't matter.

As long as he made Shido want him in some genuine way...

Then...

That was

a success,

 

wasn't it?

 

“This is helping you see things more clearly now, isn't it?” Shido said, raising his head to look him in the eyes. He rubbed his thumb along the underside of his cock and leaned back down briefly to curl his tongue around the piercing. “Or maybe...?” He moved the hand from the base of his cock a little lower. Akechi released a faint gasp when he felt him ghosting the tips of his fingers over his entrance. Without pushing them inside, Shido pressed them against him and rubbed insistently.

Unexpectedly, he stopped. Akechi's eyes followed as Shido reached across to the bedside table and retrieved the tube of lubricant that readily waited on the top next to the lamp. As he waited in anticipation, his thighs spasmed, but his hips remained on the bed. The fire in the pit of his stomach ignited when Shido's fingers returned, wet with lube. It only took a little bit of coaxing for them to slip inside. Akechi expected him to move them roughly, but he maintained the same sort of frustratingly slow and deliberate pace he'd had with everything else.

Just when he'd cooled off, Akechi's body was bursting with new heat, burning, molten like lava in his gut. It was a somewhat sickening feeling. It made sweat break out over his forehead, made his lips quiver and his mouth feel dry.

He felt like he was on the edge of something dangerous, teetering unsteadily.

His father's deceptive tongue gave him that extra push.

 

“I'm not mistaken, am I? If you want, you could belong to me.”

 

Barely a second after Shido took him back into his mouth, Akechi was already coming. His body only spasmed slightly, but the intensity of what he felt inside could have been more extreme than anything he'd ever felt before. Over the buzzing in his ears, he expected to hear Shido reprimanding him for coming without permission – in his mouth no less – but no admonishments came. There was only pleasure and heat getting stronger and stronger as Shido continued to suck on him while moving his fingers inside. With each curl of his fingers, Shido beckoned him closer to the edge. Akechi had already reached his limit, but there was always more.

Shido was never satisfied.

He rolled his tongue around the ring and teased the tip until Akechi was breathlessly sobbing. The fingers inside of him knew exactly where to press and pushed him past his limit. It was like his climax never fell. It continued, rocketing higher until his senses failed to recognize the feeling any longer.

 

Before he realized, everything became black.

 

And it stayed that way for an amount of time he was also unaware of.

 

Unable to move, it was a sleep like death.

 

In his subconscious, he still felt his father's touch as imprints on his skin. He clung to that feeling, but something dark and upsetting was born alongside it in his heart. All of the pleasure he'd been given felt shallow and meaningless once its heat began to pass. Moments of burning passion weren't made to last. While his father seemed to crave that sort of hunger, Akechi couldn't escape its emptiness. He wanted it to be satisfied once and for all...

He was tired of waiting, but...

Killing him? Taking revenge?

Rather than the goal it was meant to be, the revenge he planned was beginning to seem like a last resort. 

 

Gradually, he returned to himself. Before opening his eyes, he tested his fingers.

They moved.

He opened his eyes, but he didn't get up. He was alone. His body felt as stiff and cold as a corpse.

The sun was already setting.

He sat up, holding his head, and put his feet over the side of the bed. To his side, he noticed that Shido's glass still rested on the nightstand. All of the ice had melted. His hand moved on its own to pick it up.

The smell of the bourbon brought memories back; the afternoon sun spying on them through the small gaps in the blinds, a body like lead, his father's...

He felt groggy and tired, but he wasn't in pain. After he passed out, Shido must have left him alone. A small, unnecessary courtesy. Having gone there to be mistreated, he couldn't help but feel a certain sense of disappointment.

 

He wanted Shido to lie to him without a hint of the truth.

 

Anything less was a disrespect. Just like Shido, he wanted everything.

Everything or nothing.

 

Happiness had been there, briefly, as he'd accepted the thought of being owned. That may have been enough to pathetically placate him for a moment, but he anticipated more moments of silence, of dread and despair. No matter how 'unfortunate' he was, he couldn't allow his weak self to settle for such pitiful scraps.

 

Exhaling an exhausted breath, he raised the glass to his lips and took a taste. Even diluted, its strong flavor made him make a face. He set it back down and got up to redress himself. It seemed that Shido'd even had the strange kindness to clean him after he was finished. Before Akechi put on any of his clothes, he looked down at himself, at his piercings. His nipples were sore, but they weren't red.

He was glad that Shido liked them...

 

After he dressed himself, he went to the kitchen. Shido left him no notes and no messages on his phone. His presence was like a mirage, lasting only in the dull aches across Akechi's body.

He looked through Shido's refrigerator, but there was nothing that was worth eating. He looked through the cupboards and found a box of crackers, unopened. Taking it with him, he sat down at the table and looked at the empty seat across from him.

 

“How was your day?” he said.

 

He nodded and smiled.

 

“You should take a break. You work too much! Why don't you set aside the weekend? We should go somewhere together. I'd like to spend more time with you.”

 

Akechi opened the box. Tore open the package inside. But he couldn't see what was inside.

The one he tasted seemed especially salty.

 

“Come back... Come back... I want to see you...”

 

He hated knowing that Shido's hands were even capable of gentleness, no matter how fake. If that gentleness was the lie, then he wanted to kill the part of him that was real. It was almost everything. His smug smile. His condescending attitude. His twisted heart. Everything.

 

“Somehow, that part of you... I'm going to destroy it.”

 

Even if it meant there'd be nothing left.

 

They could become cold together.


End file.
